Love and Happiness

The other night my partner told me he loved me for the first time since we started our relationship 11 months ago. It got me thinking how, had it been 5 years ago, my ego might not have put up with waiting for nearly a year as it thankfully did! I was so proud of myself for putting my faith in him and in my ability to be patient and love him without succumbing to short-sighted expectations.

We were watching the royal wedding the other night and I'm not a royal enthusiast by any means, but I was struck by the words of the Bishop of London:

A spiritual life grows as love finds its centre beyond ourselves. Faithful and committed relationships offer a door into the mystery of spiritual life in which we discover this; the more we give of self, the richer we become in soul; the more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed. In marriage we are seeking to bring one another into fuller life.

Again, maybe I'm old-fashioned, but it rings true to me that a committed, physical and spiritual union between two people who have full trust and respect is the most powerful way to become fully self-actualized. But it's not enough just to say you love or to marry someone- you have to really believe and want to believe in the love you have with this person and have it tested over and over again.

I fully believe in the love I share with my partner, who I will call Ulster. It grew out of a very painful experience- an emotionally scarring break-up with a man not suited to me in age, personality or drinking. My friendship with Ulster was part of what persuaded me to take the final step to end the relationship with my ex because Ulster was such a man!! He was so kind, adorable and a good listener with a feistiness and sense of humor that kind of immediately convinced me that I would never find him dull in the least.

And I haven't. Actually, his presence (his voice, his smell, his hands) is like a cure and he's firmly implanted into me like a strong, comforting, and exquisite memory (kind of like the ones Jenius wrote about from childhood). I look back on the torture that that breakup caused me and the patience Ulster showed me and I just feel so blessed! I had to get through that heartbreaking and cruel shit in order to thrive. I prayed that Ulster would stick with me long enough to know whether we might make it and he did so much more.

So...Love... That's kind of it for me- the root of happiness is love. It's the knowledge that you are loved and that you CAN love someone in return. We're just people for goodness sakes.