Happiness through setting boundaries

It seems that every time I hear someone complain about a relationship (friend, husband, boyfriend, boss) the tension can often be explained by (lack of) communication or otherwise setting boundaries between the two people. I would say that the biggest problem in human relationships is that most of us don't really understand ourselves. Are we really introspective? Are we able to look ourselves in the eye and recognize the fears, limitations, pain, insecurities and other conditions that make us who we are? And then are we able to reveal them to someone we trust?

My personality is one that enjoys revealing herself, even to people I don't trust, and I've had to learn to moderate this exhibitionism. In this case, it's like I'm setting boundaries with myself. I think if you've ever had to discipline yourself, hold yourself back, truly scold yourself for bad behavior, you may have an idea of what introspection really is and how difficult boundaries are to negotiate. I used to make a pastime out of introspection but this can be a tricky thing because I've known people who practice self-delusion as introspection. It's nearly impossible to get someone who is convinced they're in touch with themselves that they are, in fact, a bit delusional.

I also have a desire to please and impress others which has also had to undergo a facelift after I realized I wasn't willing to sacrifice myself on the chopping block of perfection. I'll never be the perfect sister, daughter, wife, mother, employee or other role because I have flaws and weaknesses whether it is a love of the good life, resistance to authority figures, selfishness or others. Recognizing my inability to be perfect is essentially the sentiment that allows me to be frank and to lay bare some of my weaknesses and to say "no" by drawing the line in the sand.

BTW, when I say "perfect", I refer to the unfortunate belief that one can be perfect. Also there is that situation where a person believes they are already perfect (often embedded early on by indulgent parental figures) or when a person believes that we were, in fact, perfect at one point in the recent past. Either way, all are delusions.

So, in case you needed yet another reason to truly look inside yourself and be honest with yourself about who you are and what you need, etc. here it is: HAPPINESS